Because no two paths to parenthood look the same, “How I Got This Baby” is a series that invites parents to share their stories.
As a kid growing up in the ’80s and ’90s, Jessica Gervais never knew what she wanted to be when she grew up. After college, she found herself working as a dispatcher at a local cable company with no real direction for her future.
When she was 21, her father helped her buy a house so that she could turn it into a rental and make some money on the side. She didn’t have much for a down payment, so Jessica bought the cheapest property she could find — a seven-bedroom, row-style duplex — for $104,000. Even in 2000, that was pretty bottom of the barrel for a house in Connecticut.
To say the house needed a lot of work was an understatement. But her dad was an engineer and an all-around handy guy, and he offered to teach her how to repair and renovate whatever needed to be done. When they weren’t at their full-time jobs, the father and daughter worked nights and weekends to fix up the place. They added new windows, doors, and flooring, upgraded the bathrooms and kitchens, and installed a new electrical system and furnace. It took a solid year to renovate the house, during which Jessica fell in love with construction.
Two years later, she bought a second fixer-upper for $75,000. This one had no electricity or plumbing, and it had been condemned for about five years. “People used to call me crazy because I was fearless. But I knew I could fix it,” Jessica says. “I didn’t get discouraged. For me, it’s a puzzle and I get into problem-solving mode and get creative. I love that.”
In 2007, she met her now husband, Brent, through Match.com, and a year later, they had their wedding in the condemned house, which she had since renovated. The newlyweds moved in and stayed for 12 years. While her husband has helped her on a couple of home-repair projects, Jessica says he usually stays out of it, but “suffers through it when he has to.”
Even though she loved the physical labor of construction, Jessica had doubts about entering a male-dominated field — and besides, she hadn’t had much luck. She had gotten her home-improvement contractor license, but when she applied for construction jobs, she never got a call back. Jessica suspects it was because she was a woman, but she doesn’t have proof. She continued to take on repair and renovations as a side hustle for friends and family, and by 28, she was making more from her side jobs than her full-time job as a dispatcher for a cable company.
That’s when she decided to quit her job and start her own business as a contractor. Jessica launched Girls ‘n’ Tools. “I figured if I picked a name where it’s obvious that it’s a woman doing the work, then I’m hopefully going to avoid getting any chauvinist clients or people that are going to look down on me,” she says. The strategy paid off: “I got a lot of calls from people that were like, ‘I’ve been trying to hire men for years and I got screwed over. Or they don’t show up, or they talk over me, or they don’t listen, or they leave a mess.’” And she says she gets just as many men as women calling her for jobs — though she admits she’s gotten her share of sneers and whistles from guys at Lowes over the years.
While she loved her work, it was all-consuming as a one-woman show. She couldn’t afford to hire employees, and she didn’t have the time to learn the administrative skills needed to handle the paperwork or the management skills to oversee a crew.
Plus Jessica and her husband were hoping to start a family. Jessica shares how she juggled running her own business doing manual labor and her dream of becoming pregnant.
On trying to get pregnant
My husband and I had been married for eight years when we started trying to have a baby. I was 34 and had been running Girls ‘n’ Tools for six years. I had a lot of miscarriages — I honestly lost count because they happened so early on. I didn’t have a problem getting pregnant — just staying pregnant. I definitely was concerned that my job had something to do with it. I wore the correct gear. I took a blood panel to test for lead, paints, and solvents to check if I had been exposed to anything harmful, but all the numbers came back okay. I was very careful.
The stress and sadness of not getting pregnant made me crave even more distraction, so I piled more work on myself. I bought and renovated a three-family triplex. I think I finished it in six months.
When I was 36, we decided to try IVF. We learned my husband had a genetic code issue that was causing the miscarriages. So I would get pregnant, but the embryo couldn’t get past a certain point because it had some genetic issues.
On finally having a pregnancy that stuck
I got pregnant on the first round of IVF. I was one of those lucky cases. And I wasn’t scared because I had gone through so many losses. And honestly, you have to stay pregnant for many weeks without issues until you know it’s viable. It’s such a long time frame that I put it up to the universe and thought, If this is meant to be, it’s meant to be, and that’s it. I don’t have control over it.
I had gone through the IVF process thinking somehow I could control my diet or I could control my work, and it’s going to make a difference. That I can take these supplements, or not pump gas, or not come in contact with the cell phone or the radiation from this or that — all these stupid things that people think that they can do that’s going to prevent something bad from happening. I had been so controlling for a while and having it not work, that literally when I got pregnant, I didn’t worry about it. If it’s not meant to be, there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
On working while pregnant
I found a doctor who understood what kind of work I was doing. She had dealt with athletes, and so she knew I was in good shape. She said that if I was used to doing that work, I can continue doing that work during the pregnancy, just scaled back a bit. She told me to listen to my body. So that’s what I did. If I was tired, I rested. If I had energy and I wanted to work, I worked.
I went to work every single day. It was still mostly just me working by myself. I had two part-timers who were coming and going but that was only occasionally. I avoided painting or anything that produced fumes. For instance, if plumbers were coming that day, I made sure to be off-site since they tend to use a lot of chemicals. I was careful in that way. But I lifted stuff throughout my pregnancy. I was still redoing bathrooms in five to ten days, which is what I had normally been doing. But I did space out my jobs a bit. It’s a different pace when you’re working by yourself. Your next job has to wait until you finish this job. I was trying to put money away as well, so I was trying to work as much as I could.
Throughout my pregnancy, I didn’t get sick and didn’t have any problems. I passed all the health tests, so nobody was super-concerned about me. I still had tons of energy. I carried small so until I was about six or seven months pregnant, nobody noticed I had a bump, and I didn’t divulge to clients that I was pregnant. Toward the end, people could tell, but no one said anything. I was under contract, and they hired a woman. Occasionally, we get pregnant.
I literally tiled a floor three days before I had the baby.
On her water breaking in public
I was 39 weeks along, and my due date was in three days. We went to Target that morning, and I just didn’t feel right. It felt like my heart rate was off, almost like I was hungover. I was acting miserable and hangry, so my husband suggested we go to a restaurant.
I sat down in a booth, and I ordered a salad. We had just gotten our meals when I felt what I thought was a contraction. And then another one came, and another. The baby was just about on time.
My husband got out his app for tracking contractions (because he loves his apps), and he’s inputting all the info. On my fourth contraction, I felt a wicked pinch, and all of a sudden, my water broke. It was like Niagara Falls.
I’ve only had two bites of my salad. I am soaked. Water is everywhere. We waved the server over and I told her my water just broke. She looked at me and then looked at my cup. And I’m like, “No, my water broke,” pointing to my belly. She said, “Oh my God, do we need to call an ambulance?” I told her I was okay, but you’re going to need a mop. She leaves and comes back, and God bless her soul, she brought over three tiny little napkins. I said, “I don’t think you understand,” and told her to look under the table. And she just said, “Oh,” all wide-eyed.
Then the lady behind me started asking all these questions, like, “Is it your first?” I think my husband had gone to pay the bill, and I’m looking to leave as soon as possible. It’s chaos. Then someone from the kitchen gave me a towel, so I wrapped it around my butt and waddled my ass out of the restaurant.
On having the baby
When we left, we called my mom, his mom, and the doula and told them to meet us back at the house. I had wanted to labor at home for as long as possible. That had always been my goal. My water had broken at noon, and I stayed laboring at the house until 6 a.m. the next morning. Then we drove to the hospital.
A couple hours later, I started pushing. But the baby did not want to come out. She was stuck. She was so jammed in that the doctor said, “You’ve been pushing for four hours and the baby’s still not out. We can’t keep this going for much longer. We’re going to give you an episiotomy and then we’re going to vacuum her out. We can only use the vacuum three times and then if it doesn’t work, you’ll have to have a cesarean.”
On the third pull, the vacuum actually came off of her head. I thought for sure I was going to have to have a cesarean. Everything felt like so much pressure. I couldn’t tell where she was, but she must’ve been far out at that point because the doctor put the vacuum on the fourth time and yanked her out.
Oh my gosh. I saw Georgianna’s big, big blue eyes and fell in love.
But then I said, “What’s wrong with her head?” The nurse, who was trying to put a little hat on her, explained that her head looked misshapen because she was a vacuum baby and pulled out by her head. But I was insistent that there was something wrong with her head.
It was a medication-free birth, which is what I wanted. So even with the fourth-degree episiotomy and a vacuum birth, it was a really good experience.
On the days following the birth
We were in the hospital for about four days. Georgianna did not have to go to the NICU, but she did have jaundice, so they put her in the incubator for two days. We called it her little submarine.
I didn’t have an office admin at the time, so the night after I had my baby — while still in the hospital — I was already on the phone scheduling client meetings and answering emails. I did what I had to do to keep the momentum of projects going. I had been in the middle of a job before the baby came, so I had to send my dad and a helper for two days to finish it up.
When we left the hospital, my mother-in-law stayed with us for a week to help with the baby. We had the chance to have some family time. I have good memories of that.
I would squeeze in work tasks whenever I had the chance — ordering materials for jobs that were coming up, trying to wrap up current ones, or scheduling meetings. I knew I was going to have to go back to work way sooner than I wanted to.
On returning to work early
Originally, I had hoped to shut down for six months, but it didn’t end up working that way because I couldn’t find the workers to hire. At the time, I thought I could set up a crew in a couple of months, but I didn’t realize how long it would take. I was really naïve when it came to hiring workers. I didn’t know how hard it would be. So when I had the baby, I didn’t have anyone hired to help me keep the business going. I just had to keep things afloat. I think I also had underestimated how much time and energy was needed to take care of a baby, and I thought I would be able to handle doing both. Nine days after giving birth, I was back at the job site.
I had another job already scheduled because I thought I had about a week before the baby was born, so I had to take care of that. I also worked with a lot of older clients, and one of them called and said, “My husband fell, and I need to have a grab bar installed in the shower right away.” And then someone else needed their doorway widened because they had to get a wheelchair inside their house. Since these were just small 15-minute jobs that I knew I could handle, I just ended up doing them.
Within two weeks, I had to clean out a trailer and there was definitely heavy lifting involved. I remember the feeling of lifting something, when your pelvic floor is not quite right yet, that achy pain and thinking, Am I ever going to be able to lift stuff normally again? But I just pushed through and did it.
There were several projects that had to get done at rental properties. One of the first things I had taken on was a leaking sink. I had to climb underneath the sink and contort myself into this weird position, and my arms were lifted above me trying to work on the pipes. I remember feeling lightheaded and thinking, Oh man, I’m out of shape. I wasn’t out of shape. I was just tired, but I didn’t know that.
Of course, my doctors wanted me to sit at home and not do anything physical for a while, but that isn’t what ended up happening. I probably would’ve healed faster if I had. I was still feeling the pain from the episiotomy. I would feel a pulling or stinging sensation when I did certain movements. It actually didn’t hurt so much while I was working, but it was bad when I had to sit for long periods of time, so driving to jobs is when I would feel it the most. The doctors had given me a topical gel, a numbing agent, which I used for a while, but I wasn’t taking any other painkillers. When I went for my six-week checkup, it still hadn’t completely healed, but the doctor told me the healing time was different for everyone.
On Georgianna needing surgery
We discovered within a few weeks of her birth that Georgianna had gotten stuck in the birth canal because she had craniosynostosis — fused skull plates that cause the skull to grow in an unusual shape. That was why I didn’t think her head looked right in the hospital. At the time, the OB and nurses were telling me it was because of the vacuum, but I knew that wasn’t it. Afterward, I had taken her to a different doctor, who sent me to a neurologist, and then she got a scan that confirmed her condition.
It was caught early, and we were able to get her in for surgery at three months, which is as early as they can possibly do it. The four-hour operation involved cutting the fused plates apart so that her head would go back to a normal shape. She was so little, but we had a great surgical team, and everything went well. Usually doctors will need to reevaluate kids with this condition once a year for five years. But they only watched Georgianna until she was 3. She passed the tests so astronomically well that they weren’t concerned about her at all. She’s got a little funny soft spot that’s never quite healed properly — that’s normal with this kind of thing — but she’s got hair, so you would never know.
On working after baby
Another reason I continued to work so hard after the baby was born was because COVID hit a few months later. I was home a lot that year because many people didn’t want workers in their homes, so I had a lot of time with my daughter that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. But I was so concerned that I would lose my business and lose the momentum to work. I was worried that I wouldn’t have the financial freedom that comes from having your own money. I was very independent, and I didn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom.
At the time, I figured I should take any job I can get as often as I can, because I don’t know what this pandemic is going to end up being. I don’t know how long this is going to last. I don’t know if it’s going to get worse, and if people are never going to want us back in their homes again. I focused on salvaging whatever I could salvage and doing whatever I could do to finish any job or to get any clientele that I could in case things didn’t go back to normal. I did a lot of urgent repairs in 2020 or projects that could be completed outdoors. I also met with a lot of clients and started planning renovations of suites and master baths for the future.
And hindsight’s 20-20, right? If I’d known how the year 2020 was going to pan out, I would’ve just taken the whole year off.
On her physical and emotional recovery from birth
That first year of my daughter’s life, trying to keep my business afloat and dealing with the pressures of COVID, was the worst year of my life. These were some of the few times in my life that I’ve actually cried. I just powered through it, and it is what it is now.
My recovery after childbirth took a long time. It wasn’t like my body magically popped back into place. I did physical labor for years before I had a baby and the entire time I was pregnant, and then I went right back to work nine days after I had a baby doing physical labor. And it still took me a year to get back to my prepregnancy weight.
It was almost a year until I didn’t really feel pain anymore. I’d be fine after a couple months, but then I would be in a certain position, or I would get up from a chair in a weird way, and I’d feel that tug of pain.
I was breastfeeding that whole time, too. Where didn’t I pump? I pumped in basements. I pumped on the backside of a barn when I was on a job site with a bunch of other guys. I just said, “Don’t go in the back.” I always had a cooler and ice packs with me. Sometimes, I would swing by the house in the middle of the day and drop it off and swap for new ice packs or would be able to stop and feed the baby. My hormones were also all over the place. It was a lot.
My mom ended up retiring, and she moved in with us and watched Georgianna. That was really what allowed me to go back to work. Otherwise, I would not have been able to. My husband was great and he helped a lot, but when push came to shove, my career was the one that was going to be compromised — he has a desk job in IT administration. The only reason I was able to stay in business was because of my mom.
My daughter was 6 months old when I hired my first full-time actual employee. It was miserable running a business, managing a worker for the very first time, trying to figure out how to be a mom, and recovering too. I look back now and kind of wish I just stayed home with her.
On deciding to have another baby
Despite it all, my husband and I knew we wanted another child. We waited two years after Georgianna was born, then we pursued IVF again. We had a leftover embryo from Georgianna’s batch, but it didn’t work out. We had to go through a few egg retrievals to get some good eggs. I got pregnant, but it was an ectopic pregnancy. The next embryo transfer did the trick, and I was pregnant again.
I worked throughout the pregnancy, but I didn’t do anything physical at all. I’ve had a few workers for a couple of years now, so I have help. I would just focus on paperwork, meetings, and going around to job sites.
On giving birth to my son
His birth was quick compared to my daughter. I woke up at 6:30 a.m., saying, “I’m going to have the baby today.” I just had a feeling.
By 9 a.m., I had contractions. My doula was at my house by 10 a.m.. Both my husband and my doula said we needed to go to the hospital now. I was thinking we had plenty of time since my first baby took 25 hours and I pushed for four hours. But they insisted.
By 10:40 a.m., I was at the hospital and in full-on labor. The nurses checked me and said, “The baby’s coming.” They immediately brought the doctor in, and within 17 minutes, my son Alex was born.
That one was a vacuum birth as well. The baby’s heart rate had dropped so quickly from 120 down to 60, and the doctor was worried that the cord was wrapped around his neck, so he said, “You’ve got to have this baby right now.” So they did the same thing as the first time: flipped me on my back, cut me, and vacuumed the baby out.
On what happened after her son’s birth
In the hospital, I was still answering work calls and fielding emails and texts, but I took it much easier this time around. I wasn’t interacting with clients. I would just speak with my office manager and my job coordinator once or twice a day. That’s it. I wanted to make sure that jobs were prepped and the materials were ordered and stuff like that.
I stayed home for a week or two, and that was the only work I did for a while. When I did go back to the office, it was just part time. I had to get everything set up because I was planning to take maternity leave.
The whole family went to Virginia and stayed in an Airbnb that was in a resort for five weeks. There were little-kid activities and fun things to do, and it was nice to be away. Once or twice a day, my office manager or job coordinator would call me and give me their breakdown. So I was still working, but it was the least amount of work that I could ever really do running a business. I appreciated the time off and all the hard work that my workers did so that could happen. I was able to make up for the first time.
On not exactly finding balance
Running a business and being a mom is very stressful. There are days when I wished I was just a stay-at-home mom, or that I had the ability to just focus on work. Everybody wants to use the word “balance,” but it’s really a seesaw — like all or nothing. It’s putting out whatever fire happens to be lit at the moment and then going on to the next one. I call it Whack-a-Mole: Whatever needs my attention right now, I’m going to do that one. It’s all pivots, and it’s stressful.
I’m 43 and happy where I am in life. But also, it’s taken a lot of work to get here. And it’s been a lot to build my business, and a lot of time away from my family.
I see it on Facebook boards or on TikToks, where people are like, “You should start a business,” or “Be a mompreneur,” or whatever. It’s not what you think it is. It requires double or triple the amount of time than it is when you work for somebody else. And in some cases, it’s no pay for a while until you scale up and get to the point where you can hire workers and they can cover your pay, too. It’s not for the faint of heart.
I’m currently trying to expand my company a little bit. We’re trying to get more of the larger jobs that we’d like to do, which are the bathroom remodels, the whole-house remodels, the suites, small additions, those kinds of things. And we’re pivoting away from the handyman stuff. We’re opening a showroom for clients so they can come in and see the work we do and the design options.
Now my company has seven workers. I’ve got an office admin, a job coordinator, and guys in the field who are really good at what they do. But it took a long time to get this crew, and it’s the best crew I’ve ever had.
On looking back
I loved my births, the way that I had my children. Even if they had ended up as cesarean, I still would’ve been happy with the outcomes. It was a cool experience to carry a child and bring them into the world, nurse them and see them grow. I love being a parent and I love my little ones.
Now I can say that I’m happy with the way that everything worked out. If it hadn’t taken me so long to get pregnant, I probably wouldn’t have had my daughter and my son. And I love them to death. They were worth the wait, and they were the ones I was meant to have. So I kind of look at it that way: It was meant to happen this way.
More From This Series
- The Mom Who Didn’t Know She Was Pregnant Until She Was in Labor
- The Single Dad Who Had a Baby Via Surrogate
- The Mom Who Got Pregnant While on Birth Control at Age 46
